22. Nerd. SuperWholock-ian. Asexual. Panromantic. 90's Chick. Clean & Sober. Friend of Bill W. Recovering from Anorexia, Othorexia, EDNOS, PTSD, Self-Harm Addiction, Depression, and Anxiety Disorder. DISCLAIMER: I do not promote any type of self-harm behaviors. WARNING: Posts may be triggering!!
Like this is the first time ever that I’m seeing a medical professional due to possible consequences from my eating disorder and I had to write that down as why I was here. I just feel a combination of pain, shame, and guilt because I what I put my body through over all those years. I’m sitting in the corner hanging my head and trying to not make any eye contact while praying that my hands stop shaking before I see the doctor.
Like what the fuck did I do?! Why did I subject myself to that hell, and now this?! My heart is literally in my throat right now. (Well, not /literally/ but you know what I mean)
Dinner: Gluten Free Matzah Pizza
Feeling: excited and nervous at the same time. It’s one of my childhood favorites but it’s also a fear food.
BUT IT’S SO FUCKING DELICIOUS I CAN’T EVEN!!